Center for Parental Responsibility (CPR)

WEEKLY UPDATE (A Few Highlights): Thursday October 7, 2004

 Website: cpr-mn.org       Email contact: info@cpr-mn.org   Voicemail: 651/490-9277

 

No Parent Left Behind: To protect our children’s future we need to stop alienating dads today!

“If it is to be, it’s up to me!” - Your input and participation is needed for reform

 

PLEASE forward this email to anyone you know who is interested in family law reform!

 

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit dwells in you? Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court … it is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.”

1 Corinthians 3:16, 4: 3-5

 

 

The Overview:

 

  1. ANOTHER REMINDER - FREE fatherhood seminar being held Friday night October 8, 2004 and Saturday morning October 9, 2004. Great learning opportunity. SIGN-UP!
  2. ANOTHER REMINDER – United Way Contributions. Your donations can be designated to CPR. On your form from your employer, under “other designation” just write: Center for Parental Responsibility, Roseville, MN, and United Way will take care of the rest. Tell others!
  3. MEDIA – Upsetting and misleading article in the Pioneer Press by the Battered Women’s Organization called “Communities and court must work together to protect women, children.” Article accused John Tester of being the batterer when the record shows that his ex wife admitted in court that SHE was the batterer.
  4. REMINDER – Sunday October 17, 2004 General Meeting Notice – Our speaker will be a retired Dakota County District Court Judge, Duane Harves. His topic “Irritating a judge and losing your case.” Mark your calendar. Prepare your questions. Tell others!
  5. RECAP – September 30, 2004 7:00pm nationwide Candle Light Vigil was a success.
  6. NEW VIDEO PRODUCTIONS – if you will tell your story on camera for TV, contact us.
  7. NEW update – Federal Class Action Law Suit Filing in Minnesota, on behalf of 244,000 non custodial parents, in conjunction with the Indiana Civil Rights Council.
  8. COMMITTEE UPDATE: a) Custody Committee making progress and getting legislative support for a presumption of joint physical custody, and b) IV-D committee making process and getting legislative support for eligibility standard to get private cases out of the public domain.
  9. UPCOMING COURT WATCH – please volunteer your time to support NCPs in court if you can. October 15 and October 18.
  10. YOUR SUCCESS STORIES – don’t quit, don’t give up, don’t give in, cling to the hope; “they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress; He sent forth His work and healed them, and delivered them from destruction.” Psalm 107:19-20

 

 

The Details:

 

1. REMINDER: EDUCATION – FREE Fatherhood Seminar: “7 Secrets of Effective Fathers.”

Former Gov. Al Quie and his son the Rev. Joel Quie are co-chairing a volunteer organizing committed for the Ken Canfield seminar Friday October 8 (7-9:30pm) – Saturday October 9, 2004 (8:30am – 1:30pm) at Eden Prairie’s Wooddale Church.

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1)       For more information or to register for the FREE EVENT, visit www.fathers.com/seminar. WONDERFUL and rare opportunity for such an educational seminar and supportive environment.

2)       We encourage you to attend – it’s FREE, what have you got to lose?

3)       NEW: Will someone who attends, please share any useful handouts with CPR so we can pass them along to other fathers who might be interested. Please make a copy and mail to CPR, PO Box 130776, Roseville, MN 55113

 

 

2. REMINDER: UNITED WAY Pledges can be made to CPR

Many companies run United Way campaigns and employees feel either obligated or compelled to participate. United Way provides a marvelous option for you to designate your pledge to the organization of your choice. If you believe in the mission and activities of CPR, please consider designating your United Way pledge to the Center for Parental Responsibility, Roseville, MN. We are set up with the Minnesota United Way.

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1)       All you need to do is fill in the full name/city of our organization Center for Parental Responsibility, Roseville, MN on your pledge card under “other designation of your choice,” and United Way will take care of the rest. Why not ensure that your pledge is used as a non-profit contribution to the efforts of CPR to help remove the obstacles that prevent both parents from being fully and equally involved in the lives of their children, reducing family court bias and creating more equity in family law. 

2)       Please pass the word around to your co-workers that CPR is worth contributing to! Thank you for your partnership with us. Call or email us if you have questions.

3)       NEW: To answer some questions that have been raised - Don’t be confused by the fact that CPR is not listed as an organization with United Way. The only agencies that are listed are those who are automatically given regular money from the United Way General Fund. CPR does NOT get any money from the United Way General Fund. We ONLY are provided contributions when they are specifically written in as a special designation on your donation card. Thank you for your consideration. Note:  CPR is a 501c3 charitable organization.  Any donations made to CPR, either directly or through the United Way, can be claimed as tax exemptions when you file your taxes.

 

 

3. MEDIA: Upsetting and misleading article in the Pioneer Press by the Battered Women’s Organization (MCBW) called “Communities and court must work together to protect women, children.” The article was in the Tuesday October 5, 2004 paper. This article was in response to the CPR VIEWPOINT article in the same paper on Sept. 14, 2004.

 

CPR believes the recent murder/suicide was a terrible thing and none of us are looking to make any excuses for someone who made such a terrible decision. There are no excuses. There is no positive outcome for anyone with this decision. Everyone hurts. We believe murder/suicide is the WRONG decision. We believe this decision hurts all fit fathers everywhere who are now so easily lumped into the bucket of “dangerous,” even when there is no such evidence. However, we believe that without getting to the bottom of the problem, we can’t solve the problem and prevent it from happening again. CPR volunteers have been researching this story in detail to try under understand with more clarity: 1) what would drive a father to do this, 2) what could we provide in the future to prevent such a tragedy, and 3) how do we reach fathers to help them see there are options, resources, and support available through CPR and understand that it is important to reach out for support when you have lost all hope … because, regardless of your circumstances, there is still hope. Our hope is in a God who is “bigger than all of our sorrows, bigger than all of our fears.” He is our provider. He is our safety net.

 

The battered women’s advocates have responded on the October 5, 2004 C by: a) denying that the bias system has anything to do with these tragedies, b) making assumptions based on neglecting important, relevant, and available facts, and c) accused John Tester of being the batterer and denying the reality that the record shows his ex wife admitted in court that SHE was the batterer. While the article title is neutral and nothing to argue about, while the message may be benign to some, the message is misleading. They are taking advantage of a dead man and a dead girl who can no longer defend themselves, in order to create a misleading picture to further their own cause rather than looking for real solutions.

 

CPR believes that just like putting more people in jail will not reduce alcoholism in this country, forcing more dads into supervised visitation is not a long term solution to interpersonal conflict. Fixing the problem is very different than punishing more people without evidence.

 

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1) The online link to the article is only good for 7 days from publishing, so check it out right away, http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/news/opinion/9835178.htm?1c

 

2) Please write a letter the editor of the Pioneer Press ASAP and email it to letters@pioneerpress.com. The letters must be 200 words or less or there is NO chance that it will get printed. Don’t be overwhelmed about putting pen to paper – don’t’ worry about perfection – just write, 200 words goes fast. Consider:

  1. Explain in your own words how men who are beaten have no options – there is no shelter, there is no advocate, there are few judges who will even believe the men.
  2. Explain in your own words how unfounded Order for Protection (OFPs) are handed out like candy by judges and explain the impact false allegations have on a persons psyche and the impact on their children.
  3. Explain how dads have no rights in family court. Explain how the constitution is thrown out the window in family court. Explain the bias.
  4. Explain how hearsay by the mother is the number one source of information in a contested child support hearing. Explain how the court rules in the expedited process actually allow hearsay and magistrates often relay on that hearsay more than actual evidence provided.
  5. Explain how dads (or NCP moms) get stripped of everything they have in family court – including their children.
  6. Explain the injustice from your own experience.
  7. Respond to and explain the judicial and prosecutorial BIAS AS EVIDENT in another Wed. Oct. 6, 2004 Pioneer Press article called “Eagan woman not yet charged in shooting death,” (link: http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/9844728.htm ). In this case, the woman murdered the father of her child. If the roles were reversed and if he man killed the woman (instead of the reverse – a woman killing a man), all the Domestic Violence groups would be coming out of the wood work claiming the killer as an abuser and the deceased as a victim of Domestic Abuse. Something is very wrong when the bias is this obvious. We need a public outcry to remove the bias.
  8. Refer to an excellent book by Attorney Tom James to get the real facts on Domestic Violence, http://www.cpr-mn.org/Documents/Book%20order%20form%20T%20James.htm

 

 

 

4. REMINDER: General Meeting Notice October 17, 2004 at 5pm – 8pm.

 

SPREAD THE WORD – WE WANT TO BIG AUDIENCE FOR THE JUDGE

 

Our speaker will be a retired Dakota County District Court Judge, Duane Harves. His topic (changed slightly) “Irritating the Judge and losing your case. Rarely do you get an opportunity to talk with a judge and hear their perspectives. This will be a marvelous way for you to know how to better understand and communicate in motions and affidavits with a judge. It will help you understand what judges expect and how you can get your point across in a way that they will understand and a way that will ensure that the law is applied to you and that your constitutional rights are protected.

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1)       Mark your calendar NOW and reserve the evening: Sunday, October 17, 2004 5pm – 8pm – same location: William Mitchell Law School, St Paul, corner of Summit and Victoria. Enter by the flagpole and follow the signs to Room #245. FREE and easy street and lot parking.

2)       Don’t miss this meeting, SPREAD THE WORD, and BRING others with you – the higher the attendance, the greater chance we will have more judges in the future

3)       Remember the rules of Rules of Engagement for the meeting:

a.        Rule #1-Keep your questions succinct and to the point, you will only be given 30 seconds to articulate your question

b.       Rule #2-DO NOT elaborate on your personal story.

c.        Rule #3-Do NOT present an image of an ‘angry white male’

d.       Rule #4- Plan your questions carefully, write them out in advance; you may be limited to 2 questions, depending on the number of questions from the audience

 

 

 

5. RECAP: NATIONWIDE CANDLELIGHT VIGIL, Thursday night Sept 30, 2004 7pm-9pm

 

The Candlelight Vigil was a great success. A CPR volunteer (TN) coordinated the effort and had every detail organized and planned extremely well. The vigil was a low-key event – peaceful, contemplative, and mellow. There were about 25 people who attended the event – several newcomers. We have pictures. During the ceremony, the entire group recited the following reading, while lighting 5 candles in honor of children everywhere who need BOTH parents:

This first candle represents our grief. The pain of not having our children in our lives is intense. It reminds us constantly of the depth of our love for you.

This second candle represents our courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other, and know that our children are in our hearts always.

This third candle we light in your memory, for all the times we think about our children, the times we have had or would like to have had with you, knowing you will be with us in our memories always.

This fourth candle represents the light of love. As we start each day, day by day, we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for our children.

This fifth candle represents justice. We are parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and stepfamilies. We raise our voices to send the message from our hearts of what we feel in our souls: that we cherish our families more than anything. Our families are our inspiration. Our heritage is the right of all families to exist and function as a family and the right to protection from the hardship of unaffordable financial support orders and penalties which are unjustly imposed. Our vision advocates that the right to share the responsibility for meeting all our children's needs equally and within our means, and the right of all family members to maintain their family bonds, must be recognized and protected as civil and human rights.

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

 

1) See you next year at the Candlelight Vigil.

 

 

6. NEW VIDEO PRODUCTION. TELL YOUR STORY!

Most everyone says:

·         My case is the worst,”

·         If people knew about my story there would be change in the system in a heartbeat,”

·         I’m a poster child for what is wrong with the system,”

·         You can’t believe the judge I had, he didn’t even read the file,”

·         My case is bad because they didn’t even apply the law in my case – what happened to equal application of the law,”

·         In my case, they believed the false information my ex provided (emotional hearsay), and they ignored the evidence I had to disprove it.”

·         I never want this to happen to anyone else and certainly I don’t want this to happen to MY sons.”

 

Has this been your experience? Now is your chance to really tell your story. CPR is working with several volunteers on a taped production for cable TV. Taping has already begun. The schedules are filling up fast, but it will likely be an ongoing production. You’ll have 20 minutes to tell your story in a TV studio on Selby Ave in St. Paul.

 

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1) Email us at info@cpr-mn.org, if you are willing to go on camera with your story – we’ll hook you up with the production crew.

2) PREPARE by writing your story in 2 pages or less (what I have been preaching forever), so that you can communicate effectively, speak in chronological order, and pick out the most important facts. Don’t forget to include the negative impact this has all had on your children.

 

 

7. UPDATE/FOLLOW-UP: Federal Class Action Law Suit. Filing in Minnesota, in conjunction with the Indiana Civil Rights Council.

 

The Sept 21, 2004 CPR WEEKLY UPDATE had the initial details. Review that previous update. CPR is not a party to this case; but we are trying to keep our members informed. Here are more details from the person who filed the lawsuit in Minnesota:

 

Presently 41 states have filed cooperative federal actions. (see

http://www.indianacrc.org/classaction.html).  The Minnesota version of the Indiana Civil Rights Council-based federal class action suit was filed in St Paul on behalf of the 240,000+ so-called non-custodial parents in Minnesota.  The case number is 04-CV-4152 JRT/FLN.

 

As you may know, this action was filed in coordination with what is

expected to be along with representatives from all 50 states.  Our strategy is to set the stage for national media attention, garner grass-roots support, and exercise the opportunity to have all separate state suits consolidated via the Judicial Panel for Multi-district Litigation - to help expedite a ruling that will hopefully be favourable to oppressed parents and children throughout the country.  In so doing, we'll also set a world-wide precedent amongst the western world that their draconian laws and public policies similar to those in the US, will no longer be tolerated.

 

The many hundred multi-billion dollar per year divorce industry,  enormous profit-making by the states from federal block grants, and unrestrained and unwarranted expansion of federal and state government into the private lives of its citizens must be curtailed in order to preserve our most basic God-given human rights and freedoms as natural parents.

 

Funding assistance is also greatly needed to proceed in this effort, and requested from those who understand the need to end the several decades long war against families and children.

 

Thanks for your prayerful consideration in supporting this cause.

 

Best regards,

 

Dave Witte

Principle Plaintiff for Minnesota

Director, Parent-Child Advocates, Inc.

Co-founder & Member, Legal Action Committee

P.O. Box 582552

Minneapolis, Minn 55458

(651) 755-3380

email: info@legalactioncommittee.org

 

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1) If you are interested in participating in a class action lawsuit, contact Dave Witte for details.

 

 

 

 

8.COMMITTEE UPDATE:

a) Custody Committee making progress and getting legislative support for a presumption of joint physical custody, and

            Benefit: will reduce court battles, remove the win-lose mentality, and preserve the parent child relationship.

b) IV-D committee making process and getting legislative support for eligibility standard to get private cases out of the public domain.

            Benefit: will level the playing field, will save taxpayers in MN as much as $100 million a year, no more subsidized government services for the ex who makes more money than you do!

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1) If you want to be involved in legislative activity, citizen lobbying and building public awareness, contact us at info@cpr-mn.org and we will let you know about committee meetings. Custody Committee meets on Monday nights. IV-D committee meetings on Thursday nights. A third committee is in the works that will focus exclusively on citizen lobbying.

 

 

9. COURT WATCH

Court watch is a service facilitated by CPR to provide support to NCPs going through court. We ask volunteers who have time to show up for hearings, so that NCPs are not alone.

 

Some of the benefits of volunteering your time to observe other NCP hearings are as follows:

·         You get to see other attorneys in action – compare to your own, or get ideas for pro se litigation.

·         The dynamics of the courtroom can become more neutral if the NCP is not alone.

·         You familiarize yourself with the hearing process so that it is not so intimidating when you have a hearing of your own.

·         The NCP has “witnesses” to what went on in the courtroom

·         The court watch advocate can provide perspective after the hearing and share observations to the NCP – either validating what they felt or sharing a new “outside” perspective

·         If you are comfortable, act as a silent prayer warrior in the courtroom, binding the lies and praying for truth.

 

SCHEDULE these in if you can

 

Friday October 15, 2004 COURT WATCH at 2pm

 

COURT WATCH: Non-custodial dad – Cory Deutsch

Location: Rice County District Court House, 218 3rd St NW Faribault, MN 55021

Driving Directions: (see mapqwest)

Special Option: the NCP dad will carpool. He will leave from downtown Mpls at 12 noon – or connect at another location on 35W South.

Issue: He is motioning for a change in custody based on evidence the mother is putting the child in danger and the mother has been convicted several times of theft.

Judge: Wolf

NCP Attorney: from Kissoon, Clugg, Linder, Dittberner & Remington, Ltd., Edina

Volunteers Needed: please attend this hearing if you can, to support a non-custodial parent in court and let the court be on alert that people are watching the decision

Reminder: always call ahead first to the county court administration (Rice County 507/332-6100) to make sure that no last minute changes have occurred.

For Details: email info@cpr-mn.org

 

Monday October 18, 2004 COURT WATCH at 2pm

 

COURT WATCH: Non-custodial dad – Dustin Smith

Location: Ramsey County Family Justice Center, 50 West Kellogg, St Paul, MN

Driving Directions: (see mapqwest). Prepare extra time to find parking. Street parking is highly unlikely during the day. Easiest lot to park in is next to the St Paul Hotel.

Issue: FIRST TEMPORARY HEARING. Unmarried father looking to get physical custody. Uncooperative Mom is already trying to remove the father.

Referee: Earl Beddow

NCP Attorney: from Ramsey, Devore & Olson – this firm has some connection with Beddow. Beddow’s former staff person is now in this firm. Attorney not interested in recusing the judge for possible conflict or appearance of bias.

Volunteers Needed: please attend this hearing if you can, to support a non-custodial parent in court and let the court be on alert that people are watching the decision

Reminder: always call ahead first to the county court administration (Ramsey County 651/266-2842) to make sure that no last minute changes have occurred.

For Details: email info@cpr-mn.org

 

 

YOUR ACTION ITEM:

1)       If you are available on either Friday October 15, 2004 or Monday October 18, 2004 in the afternoon, please volunteer to ride-along and act as a court watch advocate … OR JUST SHOW UP AT THE HEARING.

2)       Introduce yourself to the NCP before the hearing.

3)       If you are asked by the judge why you are there, your response is “I am an advocate for (name).”

 

 

10. SUCCESS STORIES

·         CP in Hennepin County went in for a modification of child support to INCREASE her support payments. Judge said “if you want more money, get a job.” (we can only hope that CPs starting to be held accountable to the same standard to provide financially according to their ability as NCPs)

 

 

SPECIAL NOTE regarding this weekly update:

SPREAD THE WORD: PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL ALONG TO ANY NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT or ANYONE else who is concerned for the non-custodial parent, and the negative impact on the children that comes from bad discriminatory legislation, nasty case workers who treat you like a criminal, and unfair & bias judicial practice impressed upon the fractured family. Those interested and affected include: children of divorce or out-of-wedlock birth, non-custodial parents, second wife, grandparents, girlfriends, employers, etc).

WE NEED NAMES: WE are EAGER to add the names to our email list of all citizens who are AFFECTED OR INTERESTED IN HELPING TO REFORM FAMILY LAW AND ANY NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT NEEDING ASSISTANCE IN THEIR FAMILY LAW CASE. We do the best we can to help with the limited volunteer resources we have. CPR does not provide legal advice, but rather information that can help guide you to better outcomes as you battle the bias of the government system.

WE NEED HELP: WE WELCOME YOUR PARTICIPATION AND WE NEED ALL INTERESTED NAMES so AS A GROUP OF CONCERNED CITIZENS we can ORGANIZE AND MOBILIZE (like Martin Luther King Jr did!) to prove to legislators that these family law issues matter to their constituents, and TO ACHIEVE THE GRASS ROOTS PUSH needed to DRIVE the MUCH NEEDED Family Law REFORM to encourage EQUAL PROTECTION for both parents and their children, because parents made the best decisions for their children, NOT the government.

Please forward names to CPR of other citizens interested in these issues. We want to add them to our list to keep people informed and show legislators there is a LONG list of effected and interested people in Minnesota. Without your support and involvement, no change will occur.

ADDITIONAL NOTE to unsubscribe: You are receiving this email from CPR-MN because you have indicated interest in the group, or have attended a like-function where someone met you and thought you would be interested. If you would like to discontinue receiving these emails, please reply with "unsubscribe" in the email subject and your name will be removed from our list immediately. CPR-MN holds their membership information as very private information and will only use information for internal and informational purposes.